ericjames’ world

These
past few weeks I’ve been into debates on my stand about being single. I
don’t really know what’s the big deal in me being single… maybe my
friends just find my stand amusing or they just find it weird when a
person tries to deviate from the conformity of our society.

Being single is not bad. It’s
neither a problem to be solved nor a disease to be cured. We just live in a
society that operates in a principle that we all need someone to be happy. And
I believe that is precisely the reason why a lot of people end up miserable.

For
me, being single is not synonymous to being alone and loneliness. Lets
just say that I am using this time to get to know myself better and in
celebrating my individuality- I’m doing the things I want, I go to
places I want and I meet different types of people.

My
thoughts about single hood aren’t particularly organized and I’m sure
hypocrisy lurks in all the unswept corners but what I’m trying to say
is that I’m ok and happy with being single. I feel complete without being emotionally dependent on someone.

I try to collect all my reasons why its fun and cool to be single. And I came up with my little list :

1.  ITS ALL ABOUT INDIVIDUALITY

It’s
cool to be single because it gives us the chance to be individuals, to
figure those things out, and grow into the awesome people we were
created to be.    

We’ve
all got dreams, and it’s cool to be single because we can dream BIG.
Each one of us has certain things in life that we’ve always wanted to
do. Sometimes we put it off, thinking there will be plenty of time
later in life.

Our time in single hood is the perfect time
to seize the moment. Turn some of those dreams into realities. The
sense of accomplishment you will receive will do wonders for you!

3.. YOU GET TO CONTROL THE REMOTE.
I’m not just talking about TV per se. We have a lot of choices that are
placed in front of us every single day. From small choices like "What
will I eat for lunch today?" and "What movie am I going to see?" all
the way to the big ones like "Will I accept this job offer?” etc.

The
choices that we make in many ways define who we are. As single people,
we can make those choices, large and small, on our own, without any
pushing and prodding from a significant other.    

The keyword here is TIME. As singles, we’re much more free to choose and to prioritize how we spend our time.

A significant other can take up a lot of time, and sometimes that time
could be spent much more wisely on other things. If I want to spend the
evening curled up with a cup of coffee and a good novel, so be it. If I
want to hang out with my friends all night with nothing but a DVD, and
an endless supply of chips and coke, I can do that.

The
idea is that we don’t have to settle on doing something just because
it’s Friday night (typical date night), and we’re "supposed" to do
something with our boy/girlfriend.    

Of course, not all relationships have jealousy in them. But one thing
to be said, is that being single is a whole lot easier when it comes to
emotions. Sure, we are all emotional at times, but at least those
emotions are ones in which we can usually manage to deal with and
figure out on our own. Try understanding the emotions of the opposite
sex after they’ve had a bad day, not to mention the many complex
emotions that will occur simply by being in a relationship with someone
else.

As single people, we can learn to deal effectively
with our own emotions, so that we might one day be able to handle the
challenges that come in dealing with the emotions of others.

 I
don’t mean to be pessimistic. But truthfully and realistically
speaking, there’s always that chance that it won’t work out. Breakups
hurt. There is nothing fun about them. They don’t make you feel good
about yourself, and they are usually accompanied by an overwhelming
sense that something has been lost, and must quickly be found again!

As single people, we don’t have to worry that our friends are going to
break up with us. There is no lament about "What went wrong?" and
certainly no agony about why we got dumped. We can be completely free
of those worries, and able to focus on the more important things in
life.

7. YOU’LL DEVELOP BETTER FRIENDSHIPS.

 Be honest and realistic. Who really dedicates equal amounts of time to spend with their friends versus their boy/girl friend?

We can really be happy as single people because we have a much greater
opportunity to develop meaningful relationships if we’re not tied up
with one significant relationship.

8. WE CAN BE WHO WE ARE.

As single people, we don’t have to worry about what we look like, what
"so and so" thinks, or if we’re making a good impression. We can be who
we are.

We can be confident that who we are becoming is a
direct representation of the people we desire to be, and not a mirror
reflection of what someone else wants us to be. Our self-esteem will
soar as we realize how much we have to offer the world and that we are
perfect the way God made us.

9. YOU’VE GOT TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU WANT TO BE.

I think this last reason for why it’s cool to be single is the most
important, because it encompasses all of the other reasons.

It’s important for us as single people, to know ourselves, and what we
want out of life, so that when and if the time does come, we’ll be able
to offer a special person all of who we are, without reservation.

A wise man named Solomon once wrote, "There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven." Sometimes it is hard to
be single, but my advice is, sit back, just enjoy and relax.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 1st, 2008 at 7:16 pm and is filed under My reflection. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.