ericjames’ world

These
past few weeks I’ve been into debates on my stand about being single. I
don’t really know what’s the big deal in me being single… maybe my
friends just find my stand amusing or they just find it weird when a
person tries to deviate from the conformity of our society.

Being single is not bad. It’s
neither a problem to be solved nor a disease to be cured. We just live in a
society that operates in a principle that we all need someone to be happy. And
I believe that is precisely the reason why a lot of people end up miserable.

For
me, being single is not synonymous to being alone and loneliness. Lets
just say that I am using this time to get to know myself better and in
celebrating my individuality- I’m doing the things I want, I go to
places I want and I meet different types of people.

My
thoughts about single hood aren’t particularly organized and I’m sure
hypocrisy lurks in all the unswept corners but what I’m trying to say
is that I’m ok and happy with being single. I feel complete without being emotionally dependent on someone.

I try to collect all my reasons why its fun and cool to be single. And I came up with my little list :

1.  ITS ALL ABOUT INDIVIDUALITY

It’s
cool to be single because it gives us the chance to be individuals, to
figure those things out, and grow into the awesome people we were
created to be.    

We’ve
all got dreams, and it’s cool to be single because we can dream BIG.
Each one of us has certain things in life that we’ve always wanted to
do. Sometimes we put it off, thinking there will be plenty of time
later in life.

Our time in single hood is the perfect time
to seize the moment. Turn some of those dreams into realities. The
sense of accomplishment you will receive will do wonders for you!

3.. YOU GET TO CONTROL THE REMOTE.
I’m not just talking about TV per se. We have a lot of choices that are
placed in front of us every single day. From small choices like "What
will I eat for lunch today?" and "What movie am I going to see?" all
the way to the big ones like "Will I accept this job offer?” etc.

The
choices that we make in many ways define who we are. As single people,
we can make those choices, large and small, on our own, without any
pushing and prodding from a significant other.    

The keyword here is TIME. As singles, we’re much more free to choose and to prioritize how we spend our time.

A significant other can take up a lot of time, and sometimes that time
could be spent much more wisely on other things. If I want to spend the
evening curled up with a cup of coffee and a good novel, so be it. If I
want to hang out with my friends all night with nothing but a DVD, and
an endless supply of chips and coke, I can do that.

The
idea is that we don’t have to settle on doing something just because
it’s Friday night (typical date night), and we’re "supposed" to do
something with our boy/girlfriend.    

Of course, not all relationships have jealousy in them. But one thing
to be said, is that being single is a whole lot easier when it comes to
emotions. Sure, we are all emotional at times, but at least those
emotions are ones in which we can usually manage to deal with and
figure out on our own. Try understanding the emotions of the opposite
sex after they’ve had a bad day, not to mention the many complex
emotions that will occur simply by being in a relationship with someone
else.

As single people, we can learn to deal effectively
with our own emotions, so that we might one day be able to handle the
challenges that come in dealing with the emotions of others.

 I
don’t mean to be pessimistic. But truthfully and realistically
speaking, there’s always that chance that it won’t work out. Breakups
hurt. There is nothing fun about them. They don’t make you feel good
about yourself, and they are usually accompanied by an overwhelming
sense that something has been lost, and must quickly be found again!

As single people, we don’t have to worry that our friends are going to
break up with us. There is no lament about "What went wrong?" and
certainly no agony about why we got dumped. We can be completely free
of those worries, and able to focus on the more important things in
life.

7. YOU’LL DEVELOP BETTER FRIENDSHIPS.

 Be honest and realistic. Who really dedicates equal amounts of time to spend with their friends versus their boy/girl friend?

We can really be happy as single people because we have a much greater
opportunity to develop meaningful relationships if we’re not tied up
with one significant relationship.

8. WE CAN BE WHO WE ARE.

As single people, we don’t have to worry about what we look like, what
"so and so" thinks, or if we’re making a good impression. We can be who
we are.

We can be confident that who we are becoming is a
direct representation of the people we desire to be, and not a mirror
reflection of what someone else wants us to be. Our self-esteem will
soar as we realize how much we have to offer the world and that we are
perfect the way God made us.

9. YOU’VE GOT TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU WANT TO BE.

I think this last reason for why it’s cool to be single is the most
important, because it encompasses all of the other reasons.

It’s important for us as single people, to know ourselves, and what we
want out of life, so that when and if the time does come, we’ll be able
to offer a special person all of who we are, without reservation.

A wise man named Solomon once wrote, "There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven." Sometimes it is hard to
be single, but my advice is, sit back, just enjoy and relax.

"A grandfather was walking through his yard when he heard his granddaughter  repeating the alphabet in a tone of voice like a prayer. He asked her what she was doing. The little girl explained, "I am praying grandpa, but I cant think of the exact words, so Im just saying all the letters in the alphabet and God will put them together for me because He knows what’s inside my heart…"

This is one of my favorite songs by Brian Mcknight…

Dark is the night, I can weather the storm.
Never say die, I’ve been down this road before.
I’ll never quit, I’ll never lay down.
See, I’ve promised myself that I’d never let me down, so,

I’m gonna win.

A guy once asked his girl, "what will you feel if i die?" The girl naughtily smiled and answered, "I’ll be perfectly happy". The guy frowned and went home. The next day, the girl received a call from the guy’s mom telling her that the guy shot himself and was found dead in his room. The girl cried and cried. After a few minutes, somebody knocked on the door. She opened it, but no one was there except for s short note on the floor. She picked it up and read " I’ll do everything just to make you happy."

While dad was polishing his new car,his 4 year old son picked up a stone and scratch lines on the side of his car. In his fits of anger, dad took the child’s hand and hit it many times. He didnt realize that he hit the child’s hand with a wrench. At the hospital, his child said, "Dad, when will my fingers grow back?" Dad was so hurt, he went back to the car and kick the car a lot of times.. Sitting back, he looked at the scratches that the child made. It reads… "I love you Daddy…"

May nakita akong magandang sandals sa Landmark. Mura lang, less than 500 lang siguro. Kakaiba din siya kasi hindi siya iyong style na makikita mo sa mga katabi mo sa MRT. Sinukat ko minsan, ang ganda sa paa! Kaya lang, hindi ko siya binili. Kasi, kakaiba siya eh. Medyo shocking ang color nya at medyo loud ang color combination. Mahirap hanapan ng ka-match na damit at bag. Saka kakabili ko lang kasi ng shoes kaya sabi ko, next pay day ko na lang bibilhin ang sandals na yun.

Madalas akong dumaan sa Landmark at nakikita ko ang sandals na gusto kong bilhin pero hindi ko mabili-bili. Ilang pay day na ang dumaan pero hindi ko pa rin siya kinukuha para iuwi. Hanggang sa dumating ang oras na kailangan ko na ng sandals. Pero pag-punta ko sa Landmark, wala na siya doon. Naubos na. Ang ending, napabili ako ng ibang printed na sandals na hindi ko naman talaga gusto pero wala akong choice kasi kailangan ko na nga.

Lesson learned:

Kung magpapaligaya sa atin ang isang bagay, seize the day! Sa kaka-delay, baka mawala lang sa atin ito at mauuwi tayong nagse-settle sa hindi naman talaga natin gusto. Mas mahirap pagsisihan ang mga bagay na hindi mo ginawa. Wala na yatang mas masakit pa sa thought na abot-kamay mo na lang,pero pinalampas mo pa.

When I went to Davao for Christmas vacation in 2001, I found what I think was the best shoes I’ve ever had. It was a blue and white rubber shoes. Astig!. Converse ang tatak nya.. Ang tagal ko na naghanap ng ganoong klaseng rubber shoes at doon ko lang sa Gaisano Davao nahanap iyun. And I bought the shoes for 1500 lang! Feeling ko pa, suwerte ako dahil last pair na iyun. And it was my size!

Sobrang natuwa ako sa bago kong sapatos. At napakalambot niya! I wore the shoes everyday because they would match anything. Gamit ko siya in the office, at the mall, in church ,even at the beach!

Dahil araw-araw ko siyang nagamit, at nasuot ko na siya sa kung saan, it was expected na wala pang isang taon ay sira na siya. Sabi ko, okay lang. May converse naman sa Robinsons saka sa Landmark, siguro naman may ganoong style pa sila. Ngunit napuntahan ko na lahat ng display ng converse  pero wala akong nakitang katulad nang nabili ko sa Davao. Nakadalawang uwi na ako sa Davao at pumupunta ako sa Gaisano, umaasang may makikita akong ganoon klaseng sapatos. Hindi na nga ako naghahangad ng eksaktong ganoon eh. Kahit na kamukha lang o kasing-lambot lang, okay na. Kaso wala.

Iyong blue rubber shoes ko — na malambot at kumportable , na  bagay sa kahit anong damit ko — ay sira na ngayon. Hindi lang siya sira, nangingitim na sa dumi, at hindi na kayang i-glue ang punit na talampakan. Pero hindi ko pa siya maitapon-tapon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Alam ko hindi ko na siya maisusuot uli, pero may reminder naman ako na once upon a time, I had a perfect pair of shoes. Hindi ko nga lang inalagaan.

Lesson learned:

Kapag nahanap mo na ang bagay o tao na sa tingin mo ay perfect na para sa iyo, ingatan at alagaan mo. Huwag mong abusuhin. Kapag nawala sila, baka wala ka nang mahahanap na kapalit. At habambuhay mo na lang iisipin na "sana, inalaagaan ko siya."

"Why do we close our eyes when we pray? When we cry? When we kiss? When we dream?  Its because the most beautiful things in life are those unseen by eyes and only felt by hearts."

"What if a bird fell in love with a fish, where would they live?

Who gets the fins and loses the wings?

Its an irony… but thats how cruel and poetic love can be."

When he was packing them in their boxes, the pencil maker told the pencils five important lessons.

First, Everything you do will always leave a mark.

Second, You can always correct the mistakes you make.

Third, What is important is what is inside you.

Fourth, In life, you will undergo painful sharpenings which will make you a  better pencil.

Fifth, And the most important, to be the best pencil you can be, you must allow yourself to be held and guided by the hand that holds you…